


you're all i need (here with me)

by jaelikeys



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Jitzu, i was sad when i thought of this, this doesnt want to leave my mind so i had to write it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-17 16:32:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18969013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaelikeys/pseuds/jaelikeys
Summary: "you always know what to say, unnie."or tzuyu loves listening to jihyo's voice over the phone because it helps her feel better. every single time.





	you're all i need (here with me)

**Author's Note:**

> made while listening to this song: https://open.spotify.com/track/41WTP0gosjYD74B06uS2tL

* * *

_"hey, tzu. it's a good day, isn't it? if it isn't, it'll get better. just face it with a brave heart and don't give up. hold on there. you'll be okay, i promise you that. i'm always here for you, okay? i love you_ _."_ a smile creeps up on tzuyu's face, hearing her girlfriend's voice over the phone. "you always know what to say, unnie." she lets her eyes flutter close, taking in everything jihyo had said.

 

"i love you too. so, so much."

 

when the beep sound was heard, a sigh slips past tzuyu's lips as she tries her best to sit up from the bed, putting her phone aside.

 

she didn't feel like getting up. she never did. everyday, she wakes up, just wanting to go back to sleep immediately and never get up again.

 

but jihyo never fails to make her think otherwise and tzuyu doesn't mind one bit.

 

every morning the moment she wakes up, tzuyu would dial her number, listen to her voice, to the words jihyo always say to her. it might be just simple and cliché and maybe a little too repetitive but.... it's important to tzuyu.

 

it keeps her going.

 

jihyo keeps her going.

 

and she's so glad jihyo is there for her.

 

•••

 

tzuyu dialed jihyo's number again a few hours into her day. simply just to hear her voice.

 

class had been stressful with all the impending projects, schoolworks and deadlines. even with annoying classmates and headache-inducing professors.

 

but jihyo made everything a little bit better.

 

 _"i love you."_ tzuyu relaxes into a bench, a small smile making its way to her face as she says back an "i love you too."

 

"i can listen to your voice all day, jihyo unnie," she murmurs. "meet me again soon, okay?" her fingers trace the signature jihyo did at the back of her journal. "i miss you."

 

and _beep_.

 

tzuyu sighs and pockets her phone back, fixing herself for her next class.

 

she's satisfied with this. just jihyo's voice, just dialing her number and listening to her talk.

 

but sometimes.... sometimes, she can't help but want more. need more.

 

sometimes she just needs jihyo. here. with her.

 

•••

 

 _tzuyu wants to cry._ not that she's not doing exactly that right now.

 

this always happens. messing up almost everything she does, people shouting at her, the stares of everyone judging her, harsh words that she can never learn how to forget.

 

 

_"you never do anything right. such a disappointment."_

 

_"are you even our child? so weak, so incompetent, so useless."_

 

_"you don't deserve your name 'chou'. i think you're better off disowned. you're a useless child!"_

 

 

it gets a little bit too much for her.

 

and how she hates how she's still not used to it.

 

she's so weak. useless. so disappointing.

 

tzuyu gripped tightly on the handrails of the stairs to the backdoor, lips quivering and tears spilling out. she feels so weak, so stupid for crying but she couldn't help it.

 

she doesn't know anything else but _cry_.

 

it's stupid.

 

" _tzu, it's not stupid. it's okay to cry._ "

 

her eyes shut tightly, remembering what jihyo always said, words swirling in her head. _"it's okay. i'm here. i'll be your shoulder to cry on. it's okay to cry, tzuyu."_

 

"u-unnie..." she sniffles, sitting down on the stairs as she gets her phone. tzuyu doesn't know anything else. she needs to call jihyo.

 

she needs jihyo. more than anything.

 

few rings later and there was her voice again. so soft and gentle as she speaks. but tzuyu doesn't need to hear it. "unnie," she whispered, voice almost cracking. "p-please... i need.... i need you.." 

 

but jihyo doesn't listen, doesn't respond to tzuyu. only continued talking, saying the same words she would always tell tzuyu. it had always been an assurance to the younger girl but at this moment, it made her feel hurt. made her cry and sob even more.

 

"j-jihyo unnie..." she tries to let out. jihyo wasn't listening to her. not even one bit. "p-please... listen to me..."

 

_"i'm always here for you, okay? i love you."_

 

tzuyu sounded desperate. but she didn't care. "jihyo... j-jihyo, please... please be here for me... i want... you here," her sobs only got worse as she talks. "i-it hurts... i need you, please."

 

and _beep._ tzuyu didn't feel any better.

 

it  _should_ but it didn't.

 

•••

 

 she wants to see jihyo,  _needs_ to see her.

 

tzuyu loves listening to jihyo's voice over the phone, the sweet, soft gentleness of her voice and the sincerity of her words, all enough to assure her that everything is okay or would be okay. it always,  _always_ makes her feel better. it makes her feel that jihyo is there for her all throughout even with just her voice.

 

however, sometimes, it's not enough.

 

so tzuyu waits. she fumbles with her fingers as she sits outside of the door she knows so well. it was all too quiet along the hallway, tzuyu's sniffles and the constant ringing of the phone in her hand breaking the silence. her eyes were still red and swollen from crying and her feet tired from running along the streets to the place she knows she'll find jihyo.

 

but damn it, the door's locked and nayeon's not answering her phone.

 

she can't do all this waiting today. everything hurts and she badly needs jihyo and her soft kisses and her warm hugs, why can't she just see her and get all those?!! 

 

"tzuyu?" a voice calls out from the far end of the corridor. quick footsteps nearing her. "what are you doing here? why were you calling me nonstop? are you ok-"

 

tzuyu can't do this today. she stands up and cuts off nayeon and all her questions. "where's jihyo unnie?" she looks ridiculous, she knows that already. with her bloodshot eyes and runny nose, her clothes a dirty, crumpled mess, tzuyu tried her best to stand her ground and still look okay infront of nayeon. but with her voice shaking, it gives her away.

 

nayeon wasn't taken aback with the younger girl's question. her reaching hand to tzuyu stops midway into its journey. the worry that had been in nayeon's eyes awhile ago was still there, yes. but there's something else in that gaze. 

 

_sadness and hurt._

 

"tzuyu..."nayeon retreats her hand back to her chest, she avoids tzuyu's gaze. "n-not today... not again, please..."

 

now, tzuyu should be getting confused and she is, she really is. but for some reason, she's also mad. she just wants to see jihyo, she just needs nayeon to say where she is, what's so hard about it? "just tell me where she is, nayeon. i need to see her," she says, fists clenching tightly by her sides. "tell me where i can find her and i'll be on my way."

 

tzuyu found it herself to be angrier when she sees a tear escape from nayeon's eyes.

 

why was she crying now? tzuyu is the one that should be crying! nayeon isn't the girl who had so much expectations rain down on her. she isn't the complete and utter failure of a child. and she definitely isn't the one who badly needs the only person who loves her but can't find her anywhere! why is  _she_ crying?

 

"tzuyu, please..." nayeon whispers inaudibly, almost choking up. "s-stop it. this- this is... not healthy anymore." she reaches out to tzuyu, gripping loosely on her wrist. "y-you... you have to stop..."

 

she doesn't understand. what should she stop? what's unhealthy? and why, why was she crying again? tzuyu shouldn't cry, not until she's safe in jihyo's arms again.

 

her voice shouldn't be breaking and cracking like this, "nay-nayeon, just... just tell me where she is," tzuyu mumbles, looking down on how the other girl holds her wrist. it was careful and gentle like she's afraid to hurt the younger. "please."

 

tzuyu is desperate at this point. jihyo, she just wants to see jihyo.

 

_please._

 

"j-jihyo's gone, tzu..."

 

_she needs to see jihyo._

 

"she's... d-dead."

 

_please._

 

•••

 

fuck. everything hurts.

 

everything fucking hurts more than it did awhile ago. the alcohol in her system doesn't even help numb the pain. _at all._

 

_"j-jihyo's... gone, tzu."_

 

no. that can't be true. nayeon loves playing around, she must be just saying yet another joke. right? it must be just some dumb prank she's pulling. 

 

_"she's... d-dead."_

 

no, just no. it can't be. no.

 

she's always talking to jihyo, always listening to her voice. jihyo is there when tzuyu just needs someone to tell her it's going to be okay. a reminder that she's not alone, jihyo was there.

 

just one call and she answers.

 

 

_"just one call and i'll answer," jihyo tells tzuyu, placing her phone back to the younger girl's hand. "just a few rings and you'll hear my voice."_

 

 

maybe just another shot would do the trick.

 

 

_"i promised i will be there for you, always. and i will." tzuyu leans into her touch as jihyo wipes the tears. she didn't even realize._

_"even if i'm gone."_

 

 

  
no, no. maybe if she gets drunk enough, jihyo would come calling to her and asking her where the hell she is. she'll be scolding tzuyu but that's okay. jihyo would understand.

 

and jihyo would be there.

 

 

  
_"i'll be there," jihyo's voice was so, so quiet and pained, it physically hurts tzuyu to see her like this. "even just as a voice, tzu."_

_a weak smile and a shaky hand reaches out to rest on tzuyu's chest. "and here. i'll be here. in your heart. always."_

 

fuck. it hurts.

 

tzuyu clutches her chest. it hurts so much there. in her heart. so, so much. tears were continuing to stream down her face, she can't stop it.  _it hurts so much._ _so fucking much._

 

"ji-jihyo unnie..." she whimpered quietly as she pushed every single empty bottle off of the table, not caring if it all shatters on the floor and makes a mess. tzuyu wants to get her phone. tzuyu wants to call her unnie. tzuyu wants to call jihyo.

 

_ring. ring._

 

it might be pathetic. how quick tzuyu had answered the call. she didn't care really. she presses up the phone to her ear and gulped down yet another shot of beer, wiping her tears hastily with the back of her hand. tzuyu doesn't fix herself when she spoke into the receiver. this could be- no, this  _is_ jihyo and it'll be okay if tzuyu is drunk and broken and pained. jihyo would just-

 

"tzuyu?" 

 

tzuyu pauses. doesn't speak. only takes another swig of the drink she holds. it burns her throat, makes her wince. but it didn't matter. 

 

it's not jihyo.

 

"tzuyu, it's nayeon. please talk to me, i know you can hear me." nothing. "please. wherever you are, come back here in my apartment. i don't want you alone outside in a time like this."

 

"jihyo wouldn't want you alone and drinking so please."

 

the mere mention of jihyo's name was enough to have tzuyu feel another round of sobs and tears that she thought she had already used up. "she won't be happy if she knows you're being like this, tzuyu. it's getting unhealthy..." there was a slight pause and she was sure she heard nayeon choking up a sob. "y-you... you can't keep being... like this. please- please, you can't do this everyday..."

 

tzuyu's grip around the glass tightens. she doesn't want to hear the next words anymore. she's tired of hearing it. "you have to move on." 

 

just like every single time, tzuyu almost immediately ends the call, throws the phone across the table and lets the tears fall again.

 

she has to move on. she  _should_ move on. 

 

but it's hard.

 

tzuyu takes in a shaky breath, stabilizing herself as her hand reaches back out to her phone. she feels so pathetic and weak. but she doesn't care about anything anymore. tzuyu just wants one thing.

 

move on, she  _needs_ to move on.

 

she closes her eyes as she listens in to the rings of her phone after dialing the number. it took three or four rings and there was it again.

 

tzuyu has to move on.

 

_"hey, tzu. it's a good day, isn't it? if it isn't, it'll get better. just face it with a brave heart and don't give up. hold on there. you'll be okay, i promise you that. i'm always here for you, okay? i love you."_

 

but she can't.

 

•••

 

tzuyu never reached acceptance. she never moved on.

 

she still held on to the voicemail jihyo left her, stupidly holding on to even the most non-existent sliver of hope that jihyo is still alive and would always be there for her, picking up her calls and talking to tzuyu.

 

every single day. the cycle only repeating itself. 

 

believing. holding on. realizations. reality. and then, all over again.

 

it's pathetic. but tzuyu really doesn't care.

 

jihyo was the only one who loved tzuyu more than she loved herself and tzuyu loved her just as more.

 

even until now.

 

even until now, jihyo is all tzuyu wants. she's all tzuyu will ever need.

 

and she's not letting her go, no.

 

•••

 

_at least not yet._

 

 

 

_maybe someday..._

**Author's Note:**

> this is very quick and short but i hope you all liked it! made it jitzu because there's a lack of their fics and i will not stand for it >:-(
> 
> tell me what you think!  
> twt: jaelikeys  
> cc: nayeonsmole


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